K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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