i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
