Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
