now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
