Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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