I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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