i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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