fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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