so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
