these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
