That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
