Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
