you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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