Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
