dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
