me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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