bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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