also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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