i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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