So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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