At least make sure they are 18
Why
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I am naked and annoyed.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
