i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize