ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
