Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
