my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
