I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
