does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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