before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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