I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
