seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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