Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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