Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
