you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize