my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
