look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
