I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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