I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
