you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
