All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
