Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
