You made me cry and you don't even care
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just want nice things and good sex
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
