I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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