He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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