so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
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He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
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He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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