I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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