We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
