I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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