i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
