i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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