so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
