He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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