what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
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She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
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Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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