I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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