do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
