Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
