so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize