I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
