Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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